


Feelings

by Xenia



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: 3x15, Episode Related, First Kiss, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-14
Updated: 2013-02-14
Packaged: 2017-11-29 06:54:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/684107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xenia/pseuds/Xenia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Last Monday's episode from Steve's prospective. Or how it takes a custody hearing to make our boys kiss.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Feelings

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Chaos_is_relative](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chaos_is_relative/gifts).



> This is the first McDanno for me in ages. I focused on the soccerdom in those months. I wanted to write something for Christmas but I didn't so here my new McDanno story. Also this is a gift for a very special person. A very late Christmas present. I hope you like it.  
> Thanks to my wonderfull beta, you did an amazing job with this fic.

“This is crazy” Steve thought as he fixed his tie and his uniform. He continued to think this while he walked along the corridors of the court house.

And he was right. It was crazy.

Problem was that Steve didn’t know what was crazier, who was crazier. Rachel for trying to take Grace away from a fantastic father like Danny, or Danny himself, who had once fallen in love with that woman, or Steve. The only positive thing in all that mess was that at least Steve knew he was crazy. He knew he was crazy in love with his partner. His straight male partner.

After three years Steve couldn’t deny this truth anymore. He was in love with Danny. He knew it, because now he was standing in courtroom, in front of a judge, trying to make said judge see how wonderful Danny was as a father and as a partner and how foolish it was just to think that taking Grace away from him was a good idea. Steve was there and every single part of his body was shaking, his hands were sweating and he could barely keep his voice steady. Because the mere thought that Danny and Grace could leave took his breath away.

In less than three years those two people had become more important to him than anyone else. Grace, Danny, Kono, Chin, Kamekona, Malia, Catherine and Max were his Ohana and he would choose them over anyone else, even over his mother.

Steve suspected that everyone on the island knew how he felt about Danny, everyone but Danny. He saw that knowledge in Chin’s eyes every time that he looked at him and Malia with sadness. In Kono’s words when they surfed together and she told him that sometimes you have to risk everything to find your happiness. Catherine had told him as much, she’d told him millions of time that he had to make his move now, before it was too late, and he knew that they were right. But he was a coward.

Steve was too afraid that his confession would drive Danny away, and he convinced himself he was happy this way. He could live this way. He could have Danny and Grace in his life like this, but losing them would kill him. And he had no doubt that Danny would be horrified by him.

Steve couldn’t talk to Danny, not now since he was fighting for his daughter. Steve knew that no matter what Danny might feel for him, if it comes to choosing between Steve and Grace, Danny would always choose Grace.

So now he was standing in front of the judge, almost pleading her to make the right decision for him, for Danny and for Grace, because he couldn’t lose them.

Denning’s call was somehow a blessing. It gave him something else to focus on. The case had been strange from the beginning. Five-0 had no reason to take over a normal homicide investigation. HPD was perfectly able to handle it, but Denning had asked, no, ordered them to do that, and Steve had obeyed without questions.

Danny had been right after the end of his hearing, asking if that investigation was a favor. For a second at Danny’s words Steve thought about going to Denning and asks him if that was, indeed, a favor. Because if it was, he would ask for a favor in return. He would ask him to speak with the judge and find a way to keep Danny here. But then he understood that he couldn’t. He couldn’t use Denning to fix his problems; he had to believe that the judge would make the right choice.

Steve tried his hardest to focus on the case. And he almost managed to do just that. To think only about the case, to keep his feeling out of his mind, like he’d been trained to do. But then Wo Fat’s picture had popped out of nowhere. Their dead prostitute had left the bar with him. With Wo Fat.

Steve lost all focus when he saw Wo Fat’s picture on the screen He couldn’t figure out what a missing Congressman and a dead a prostitute had to do with each other, let alone with Wo Fat. No one noticed that Steve had put aside the small amount of facts they had to focus on finding Wo Fat, and he didn’t care.

However, for a split second while he was in the helicopter with Danny and the congressman, nothing else mattered but taking Wo Fat down and making him pay for his father’s death. Steve knew that if Danny hadn’t been there with him he would have chased Wo Fat.

~~~~

Later, while sitting with Danny on the lanai, Steve couldn’t help but think of his life. Danny was the only person in the world who was able to make him see the reason. Without him he would have lost his job…or his life. In that moment, with a bottle of beer in his hand and Danny sitting next to him Steve made the most important decision in his life.

If Danny was forced to go to Vegas, he would follow him. It was crazy, yet it was really simple. His life was worth nothing without Danny. He was about to tell the man as much when the Governor showed up. 

While he was talking with Denning, Danny received a call. Steve knew it was his lawyer because Danny’s shoulder tensed and he walked away for some privacy. Steve could barely focus on Denning’s words. His eyes continually slipped toward Danny, his heart pounding in his chest.

Then Danny came back to them. And for a second Steve feared for the worse, because for the first time in their partnership he wasn’t able to read Danny’s expression. 

“She’s not leaving. She can’t leave,” Danny said, his voice shaking because of the joy. “The judge said Grace can’t leave. Rachel can’t take her away. We’ll have to share custody. We’re staying!” Danny looked at Steve as he said the last part.

Steve smiled, jumped from his chair and hugged Danny tightly. “That’s wonderful, man!”

Even Denning was smiling; he knew full well that without Detective Williams, he wouldn’t be able to control Commander McGarrett.

It was wonderful. Maybe now Steve could find the courage to talk with Danny, to tell him how he really felt about him. Maybe. 

After a while Governor Denning left and Steve and Danny were alone on the lanai. Danny was still smiling happily.

“I get Grace on Saturday,” Danny said. 

“That’s great man,” Steve said as he took a drink from his bottle. “You can bring her here if you want. You know how much she loves the beach. And maybe I can swim with her.”  
Danny smiled. “Yeah. That would be great. She keeps asking me when she can come over again. She really wants to see you,” Danny paused and searched for the right words, “But…won’t it be strange? With your mother and all…?”

Steve shrugged. “Nope. It won’t. You’re my family,” he said. “I don’t care what Doris thinks. I love Grace like she was my own daughter.”

After the words left his mouth, Steve realized what he said and looked at Danny with wide apologetic eyes. “Danny, I didn’t mean…I don’t…I…”

He knew he’d said too much. He had no right to love Grace that much. She was just his partner’s daughter. He and Danny were just friends. Stan had every right to love her like a daughter, but Steve didn’t.

Steve thought he had just ruined the most important relationship in his life because Danny wouldn’t let Grace be around him anymore.

“Steve…,” Danny said in a calm voice. “Steve, look at me,” Danny ordered and waited for Steve to comply. “What did you mean by that?”

Steve shook his head. “I’m sorry Danny. I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m sorry. It’s just…today had been hard.” He didn’t want to make things worse, at least not more that he already had.

Steve looked Danny, his eyes pleading him to let go, but Danny didn’t want to let go. He’d seen something in Steve’s eyes that made him hope that maybe the feelings he had were mutual, that maybe Steve loved him back, that maybe the thought of losing him scared Steve as much the thought of losing Steve scared him. 

“Seriously, Steve. What did you mean? We’re your family? You love Grace like she’s yours?” He asked. 

Steve didn’t respond.

“Steve. You have to tell me,” Danny pleaded.

Steve sighed. When Danny set his mind on something he was worse than a dog with a bone. He wouldn’t let go until he found out what was being hidden from him. Steve had known that his partner wasn’t going anywhere but maybe now he was because of stupid slip of the tongue.

“I meant what I said. You are my family, Danno,” Steve said softly. “You and Grace. I’d give up everything for you. If you had to move to Vegas, I would have followed. You’re the most important person in my life. I…love you,” Steve managed to choke out.

“And I know you don’t feel the same,” he continued as he looked at the grass under his feet. “I know I have no right to say these things, to feel this way… but…,” he took a deep breath, “please Danny…do you think we can still be friends?”

“Look at me, Steve. Please,” Danny said.

Steve shook his head and wouldn’t look at him. He didn’t want to see repulsion in his friend’s eyes.

Danny stood up from his chair and knelt in front of Steve, forcing him to look in Danny’s eyes. “Steve, you’re an idiot. We’re both idiots and we’ve lost so much time.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You have every right to say the things you said. I fought Rachel because I really think that Hawaii is Grace’s home and that she has no right to drag her everywhere Stan’s job takes him. But I fought her even more because this is my home too. Because I didn’t want to move. Because the mere thought of leaving you broke my heart. Steve you are our family too. You are my family. Grace loves you so much, almost as much as she loves me. Surely way more than she loves Stan.” Danny paused and continued, “Steve I love you too.”

Steve looked at him for a second, his mind frozen in surprise. Then he smiled broadly. “You love me?” he asked. “Why?”

“Because you’re loyal, and you’re the best friend I’ve ever had. I know you’d give your life to protect me, Grace, Chin or Kono. You love my daughter and she loves you. I love you.”

Steve smiled again and leaned in to kiss him. The kiss was soft and sweet and loving. When Steve’s tongue slid in Danny’s mouth and touched his, both men moaned. When they pulled apart to breath, Steve hugged Danny tight, and he never wanted to let go. Danny held on just as tightly, also never wanting to let go.


End file.
